YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
