I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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