After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
