This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
