we're blogging at a bar
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
