it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
