Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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