had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
