How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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