I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
