Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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