What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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