He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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