so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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