I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He felt like a one man threesome
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
