i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
