you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
