Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
