Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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