She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize