I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
