yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
