I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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