I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We talked him into tasing himself.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
