Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize