you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
