You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
there's paper in my vomit.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
