so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
