just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
