you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
