he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
