Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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