we have pet lesbian snakes
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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