So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
