I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
