I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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