she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Shame - the story of my life.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
