I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
