Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
