Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
