In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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