The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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