If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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