I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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