we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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