just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
