I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Kiss
Puke
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
