He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
