Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
