girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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