It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
