i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just cropdusted the office
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
