I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
