I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
we're so committed to being not committed
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
