There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
