spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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