your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
