Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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