Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
