I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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