ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
