That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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