i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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