So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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