i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He shit in the fireplace
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
