How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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